To begin with, I am someone who has a sign of reminder that says "BE CALM & xXxX All" sticked on the wall of my cubicle due to some constrains that are happening at work - I just want to make sure I am reminded to keep my mouth shut in the aura of the impossibles :)
And ...
I must admit - it surprises me the reminder helps ! :) I guess it's because the few words written are words that are not normally posted on a work wall - my eyes goes to the words very often in a day - I hope this will be a long time solution for me in the taking responsibility of the outcome of my emotion when they are not properly controlled. In that, I had a gentle quiet comment from a colleague who said, "I would like to advice that you take the post down and have it sticked on your desk instead. It is not appropriate - what is written." "But it helps. And you know things has been rough for me." That was all I could say. And yeah, he does know - he sits beside me. And he kept quiet afterwards.
While being a strong hearted, headed and minded person at work, I am actually quite a kitten at home - sometimes I think I love my family too much, I give too much of myself - I am taken for granted. I was recently told, "If you are as how you are (I can be quite traditional in some ways of life that may not be considered a plus thing for this generation), you will end up losing us all." I guess when the statement was made, some facts are forgotten. It takes 2 to make things work and everyone have their limits, and I am probably at the line of my limits - but I am glad I was able to just be quiet about the situation - and while that happens, it strikes me, "Hmph ! I am not at my limit yet !" I stand bewildered !
All in all, I am a 33, single, independant, loving girl who is seeking something more meaningful in life. I hope I will find what I am seeking for very soon - in the next minute if possible ! :)
Btw, if there is a fish heaven, I think the Atlantic Pilchards must be fish angels - they are awsomely beautiful in their own rights ! :)
ps : I am but who I am, and while I do sometimes wish I am someone else, I think I am happy being me ! :)
Saturday, December 12, 2009
To Love or Not to Love
Love. Hmmmmm ...
It is a very beautiful word really. And if we take a deeper look, what's in the word and of the word is even more beautiful.
So, what's in 'love' ? I may be wrong. I think one of the first things that comes to our mind when we speak of the word is the wonderful feeling we feel where love brings - when we are given more than we give or when we are given as much as we give - the expressions of love from the people in whom we know loves us, and the expressions of love from the people in whom we know we love.
Perfect love to me would be when we give as much as we receive, a 2 sided love expressions in words and in actions from one person to another.
I guess as we grow in life, while what's pure is ideal, the world we live in is not an ideal world, what's ideal is not always real. I remember there were times where I was involved in giving more than I receive, and loving becomes very exhausting, tiring, fearful ... scary. Reflecting on it, I think that is not love. That is the feeling loving a person can generate if the person who loves is not careful in his or her loving - hurting himself / herself in the process.
Thus, what is love ? What I know is the meaning of love is far from the feeling it brings us. A whole set of positive values makes and completes love - patient, kind, does not envy, does not brag, not proud, does not behave inappropriately, does not seek it's own way, take no account of evil, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Cor 13).
Well, while the bible gives perfect defination on what love is, I must personally admit it is not easy to love. Loving like how the bible would want us to love, if not careful, will hurt us. But I think if we love purely without any expectations at all - that's when love can really grow and flourish beautifully. Can we do it while being human ? Do we want to do it ? How do we start doing it ?
Sigh ...
Do we want to be loved ? I guess that is the question we have to ask ourselves. If our answer is yes, then, I guess whatever love means, what is involved in it, the positives and the negatives it will make us feel - we'll either just have to take them, or leave them.
As for me, as imperfect as I am, as wounded as I may have been in the past - I think I am taking them as they are.
It is a very beautiful word really. And if we take a deeper look, what's in the word and of the word is even more beautiful.
So, what's in 'love' ? I may be wrong. I think one of the first things that comes to our mind when we speak of the word is the wonderful feeling we feel where love brings - when we are given more than we give or when we are given as much as we give - the expressions of love from the people in whom we know loves us, and the expressions of love from the people in whom we know we love.
Perfect love to me would be when we give as much as we receive, a 2 sided love expressions in words and in actions from one person to another.
I guess as we grow in life, while what's pure is ideal, the world we live in is not an ideal world, what's ideal is not always real. I remember there were times where I was involved in giving more than I receive, and loving becomes very exhausting, tiring, fearful ... scary. Reflecting on it, I think that is not love. That is the feeling loving a person can generate if the person who loves is not careful in his or her loving - hurting himself / herself in the process.
Thus, what is love ? What I know is the meaning of love is far from the feeling it brings us. A whole set of positive values makes and completes love - patient, kind, does not envy, does not brag, not proud, does not behave inappropriately, does not seek it's own way, take no account of evil, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Cor 13).
Well, while the bible gives perfect defination on what love is, I must personally admit it is not easy to love. Loving like how the bible would want us to love, if not careful, will hurt us. But I think if we love purely without any expectations at all - that's when love can really grow and flourish beautifully. Can we do it while being human ? Do we want to do it ? How do we start doing it ?
Sigh ...
Do we want to be loved ? I guess that is the question we have to ask ourselves. If our answer is yes, then, I guess whatever love means, what is involved in it, the positives and the negatives it will make us feel - we'll either just have to take them, or leave them.
As for me, as imperfect as I am, as wounded as I may have been in the past - I think I am taking them as they are.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
